What You Need
by walnutsandoaks
Summary: Set post-S6, with slight spoilers from Season 7. With references to past seasons. "Words can only say so much." R&R! Barney/Robin, ensemble. *complete*
1. Better Than

**(A/N: Didn't feel like studying for my finals, so here's a one-shot. Or perhaps more, it depends on what you guys think. Enjoy!)**

Seeing Barney go on dates with Nora, those seemingly innocent, simple dinners - could Barney really be described with innocent? - made Robin jealous. Her dates with Barney were either exciting sex, laser tag or boring dinners at which they were both irritable. Just about everything that Barney did with Nora made her envious. Envious enough to kiss Ted. The whole dynamic was getting messed up again, she was perfectly fine with the 'friends' tag when it came to Ted, but she didn't really mean that kiss. She had one scotch too many, and she saw Ted, just sitting in front of the television with Star Wars in the player, and she couldn't help herself. She saw Ted, as her lips met his, but she was thinking of Barney.

Ted pulled away almost immediately, although she felt like he gave in for a moment, his expression was a mixture of confusion and anger.

"Robin, I can't do this, okay? I know Zoey's not the one, but I thought we were quite clear about this, we're friends." He slid further to the side of the couch, creating more space between the pair.

"I'm sorry, Ted, but I can't help it, I just... I just miss him, you know? Seeing him so happy, I can't help myself." Robin slumped on her side of the couch, head in her hands. She said it. After two months of attempted denial, she still couldn't get over Barney. He was the only guy that she felt ready to be tied down to. She missed everything about him. His playful smirk, his charming gaze, even all those sex tricks that were embarrassing and got out of hand in public. Her body never felt quite at home with anyone but him. No man held her quite so tightly, was so confident, yet vulnerable. It was worse now that Barney hung out with them less.

Ted considered scooting over closer, before he changed his mind and plumped for the coffee table instead. "Robin, look at me. Come on, look at me." She raised her head slightly, her beautiful face stained with tears, eyes slightly puffy.

"You're better than Barney Stinson. If he doesn't know what an amazing person you are and doesn't treasure you, then it's his loss. Perhaps he isn't worth your time and tears, Robin. You're gorgeous, Robin. Men would kill for a date with you, you know that? Tell you what, there's a guy that I know, he's a nice person and good-looking, but he doesn't really want to settle down, which is killing his chances with ladies, from what I hear. You need someone like him right now. Sound good?"

Robin considered Ted's proposal for a moment, it'd be good to go out with another man for a change, take things slow, without pressure, get her mind off Barney. Perhaps Ted was right, a new man was just what she needed at the moment. "All right, I'll give it a shot."

"Fantastic! I'll arrange for Josh to pick you up at MacLaren's tomorrow night. I'm sure Marshall and Lily will be curious, and who knows? Barney may just realise what he's given up."

Robin sat in the booth nervously, as Lily and Marshall cooed over ultrasound pictures opposite her. Barney and Nora were at the bar, and she couldn't help but steal a couple of glances. God, they looked so happy. Did she and Barney ever look that blissful?

"You must be Robin." A rich, British accent filled her ears and interrupted her thoughts. "I'm Joshua, Joshua Wood, but I go by Josh most of the time." Robin felt slightly awkward, partly awed by his gorgeous accent and chiselled good looks. His dark blonde locks were cropped short, clean-shaven and he had startling piercing dark blue eyes that seemed to stare right through her.

"Hey, Josh. Yeah, I'm Robin." "Is that a Canadian accent I hear? It's beautiful." Josh took her hand and excused themselves, as they started to walk down the autumn streets of New York City.

As the night wore on, Robin could feel herself becoming attracted to Josh. It was hard not to, with his obvious good looks and charms. His confidence wasn't arrogant, it was assuring, and he was gentlemanly, not a hint of male chauvinism, and he was a great conversationalist without being unnecessarily probing. He had smartly avoided the past relationships topic, and shared a little about himself. She could feel those taut, gym-worked muscles under his pristine charcoal suit, and his hands. Large, warm and comforting. She had almost forgotten about Barney, lost in Josh's charm.

As their date came to a close, he stopped at the staircase outside her apartment building, and spun her slightly to hold both her hands. "Robin, I'd love to do this again sometime. Does Friday night sound good?" She smiled, "Of course. It's been great." He pulled her in for a warm, friendly hug, and kissed her cheek lightly. "I'll pick you up on Friday at the same place and time then. Have a good night."

"He's handsome, but not awesome." The familiar, teasing, slightly high-pitched voice rung out behind her, and she flinched, hoping it wasn't too obvious from the back.

"Why are you here, Stinson?" Robin kept her tone even, trying to not let her bitter feelings seep into her voice, and looked at him squarely, hoping that her expression wouldn't betray her inner longing to be in his arms.

"Visiting my best friend, what else? To catch a glimpse of the guy that picked you up earlier too, maybe. British?" Barney narrowed his eyes, seemingly unimpressed. He walked towards her, and stopped a foot away, his face growing serious.

"You need better than that, Sparkles." Lowering his voice to a whisper, he gave her a small smile, and she thought she heard him mutter, just audibly, "You need legendary."

**(A/N: What do you guys think? Thanks for reading!)**


	2. Scotch Induction

**(A/N: Four reviewers told me that I should continue this, and this is for you guys. Thank you for the encouragement!)**

She hated Barney right now. She was almost attracted to Josh, ready to give him a real chance, and see what it could become. But just three words from his mouth, and she was completely thrown off. Why didn't he see that his words had such an impact on her and what she really needed at the moment was to get away from Barney Stinson and live a new life without the burden of loving him?

Legendary, that one word, his catchphrase, destroyed everything that the night had given her. He managed to get under her skin so effortlessly, and she kept brooding over his words even hours after he said them. She fidgeted restlessly in bed, taking in the emptiness that was once filled with the warmth of another.

Robin got out of bed and went into the kitchen, knowing that she needed a good glass of scotch to settle it, or anything else that could just put her mind in a more relaxed state. She was over-thinking again, perhaps Barney was just being his annoying self and getting into her head because he wanted to. She was pouring out her scotch when her eyes flickered over to the couch, where Ted was...ugh. All the memories of how awkward Ted was having sex on the couch flooded her mind. No one could utilise that little space like Barney did.

She was halfway through her scotch, when it finally dawned on her that Ted must have just brought the girl home, and Barney couldn't have been talking to him earlier as he claimed. She nipped outside quietly, and checked the doormat. There were two slots where she and Ted could put their spare key, they had the doormat made earlier that year because Barney claimed that there were instances where he needed a place for a "quick round," and Ted obliged, knowing his own tendencies to leave himself locked out of the apartment. She remembered putting the key in the left pocket, but she found it in the right. Checking the scotch bottle again, she realised Barney must have been waiting in the apartment for her, and had at least two glasses of scotch while at it.

But why? He looked so happy, satisfied, blissful with Nora. _I hate you, Barney Stinson, why do you do this to me? Just let me move on with my life, be happy and forget that I ever felt all these for you. Must letting go of my memories of you be this painful? _

She downed the rest of her scotch, and left the glass sitting in the sink, giving it a withering look as she left the kitchen. _I wonder, did you use that glass too? _

Ted woke up on the couch, his robe spread out on him, with the cushions strewn over the floor messily. He expected to feel the girl he brought home next to him... What was her name again? Nicole? That didn't feel quite right. He smelt fresh coffee brewing in the kitchen, and smiled to himself. He wrapped the robe around himself quickly, and stuck his feet into his warm slippers. "That smells great..." He walked into the kitchen, bleary-eyed and still in the half-asleep state. "Robin?"

Robin was drinking her mug of coffee, half-laughing at Ted's incredulous expression. "You made coffee and toast? You never do...and here was I thinking that I struck the lottery last night." Ted folded his arms, disappointed, and his eyes blinking rapidly, adjusting to the bright lights in the kitchen.

"Oh, you thought it was that Nikki girl who made breakfast for you? Give me a break, the girl made such a racket scrambling out of the apartment by the fire escape. I thought only Barney used it, but at least he's good at it. That girl? Nowhere near the lottery!" Robin gestured towards a covered plate and a pot of coffee that was steaming hot, "I made toast and coffee, figured, you know."

Robin put down her mug in the sink, where the glass from the night before still lay, and grinned sheepishly at Ted. "You'll do the dishes, won't you? Thanks!" She rushed out of the kitchen without waiting for an answer, knowing that Ted couldn't stand seeing dirty dishes fester in the sink.

Thinking about Barney, the fire escape, it reminded her of how Barney used to climb out of the apartment at four in the morning when they were dating. It was like he was programmed to leave before dawn, he was almost sleepwalking. The way he unlatched the window and climbed out, he was so familiar with everything. It was what Barney did best. Running away. In some ways, she saw a little bit of herself in what she perceived in Barney. The obvious non committal characteristics aside, they both had their family insecurities, had fragile young love, and somehow, Barney was able to draw on his own experiences, comfort her, and make her feel all right. He understood her perfectly, even if he didn't always say it. She couldn't expect him to just come out and tell her that he loved her, because she knew she couldn't. The closest she came, was a simple, hesitant, _You're an idiot. _

Robin opened one of the drawers of her dresser, which was filled with scripts and discs, some of her work that she was proud of, and other memorable events that she kept. She lifted the false bottom, which she had installed herself, it was there where she kept her most precious items. A photograph of her and her father, a small handgun, the first that her father had given her, rusty bullet shells, the first she had ever shot, and a ruined tie. Barney's machine-ruined tie, to be exact.

She held it gingerly in her hand, taking in the mild scent of Barney's clothing detergent, felt the silky material tenderly, all the memories of that morning rushed back. She smiled to herself as she recalled taking off her blouse with a slight swagger of the shoulders, shrugging off the blouse slowly.

_I miss you more than you even know, more than you probably care. More than I ever show to you, my dear, at least in words alone. And how does it make you feel, to hear me say, I miss you?_

**(A/N: Thanks for reading, and I hope you guys like this, I'll update when I can!) **


	3. Seconds

**(A/N: I've got an idea of how this entire story will go, so I'll probably update this more frequently than the Panic one. Enjoy, and drop me a review, thank you!)**

"You're really giving him a second date?" Lily narrowed her eyes, looking sceptical as she examined Robin's expression carefully.

Robin was trying to convince the rest that she liked Josh enough to give him a second date. She'd spent a few hours convincing herself, before she decided that to really get Barney out of her head, she had to distract herself. She was attracted to Josh, she couldn't deny that, it wasn't hard to be, with his charming accent and gentlemanly actions. _It isn't right to go out with him just to get another guy off your mind, _she knew Lily would say if she told the truth, both Ted and Lily were probably able to tell that she still had feelings for Barney.

"I want to. He's gorgeous, he's a gentleman, he's single, I'm single, why not? A second date would be nice. Who knows, maybe, something could happen." She tried to lighten her tone, lift her own spirits, hoping that the half-smirk she threw on could sway them sufficiently. The minute she ended her sentence, she knew she had probably failed, her tone was wavering, and her expression must have looked unsure, her hands were shaking. _Just get through this, tomorrow will be a better day. _

_I don't even know why I'm doing this. Lying to myself, pretending that I'll be okay even though I know I'll never be. I'm not Ted, but somehow, it just feels like Barney's the one, and I missed my chance. We're on the same merry-go-round but on different sides, we're running on the same frequency, but he's at the peak and I'm at the trough, will it ever work out? Why am I still hanging on to the hope that one day, it'll still be possible when it probably won't be? He's changing for Nora, changing in the way that he didn't want to for me, he obviously doesn't love you as much as you think you love him, Robin, stop being so stupid. _

"You're awesome, you know that. See you tonight." Barney sauntered into McLaren's, his phone resting on his ear, head slightly cocked to the left. He gave them a quick wave, and picked up his usual scotch before walking over with a sickeningly familiar smirk. _It's his 'I'm going to score' smirk. _"Guess who's getting number - wait for it - two!" He looked proud of himself, and put his hand on the knot of his tie, tilting his body to the side slightly as though posing for a shot.

"No picture, dude. But seriously, only number two? I thought you'd have lost count by now!" Ted was nearly gaping, holding up two fingers in a frozen position. His eyebrows were cocked, and he looked at Marshall briefly, both of them incredulous at the fact that Barney had only slept with Nora once.

"I know, I've got such a great record," Barney laughed, winking suggestively, "but Nora's pretty set on her rules, so it's number two tonight!"

_You make me feel like I'm just another number. Another one of those girls, who fell for your stupid tricks, thinking that I was special, when you just got what you wanted from me. You make it sound like I threw myself at you, like I wasn't good enough, and she's just better than me, better than everyone else this way. _

"Lily, could you come with me to the washroom?" Robin spoke up abruptly, she'd been twiddling her thumbs awkwardly as she listened to Barney brag, her heart aching with every word he said, and she couldn't take it anymore.

Robin locked the bathroom door, and scribbled a message on a napkin with her eye pencil, shoving it carelessly under the door, not caring if it was stuck or not. _It scares me, how little things matter, now that it feels like I'll never be happy again, he's having the time of his life, the kind of feelings that I'll probably never get again. _

"I can't do this, Lily, I can't. It kills me, knowing that he's never been happier than the way he is with Nora, and I was just another one of those stupid one-night stands that he had, just that I was a repeat offender. I'm just lying to myself, thinking that I'm ready to move on, when I know I'm not. And there's a part of me that feels like I'll never be ready no matter what I do."

"Oh sweetie, come here." Lily embraced Robin tightly, soothing her sobbing friend. "Barney, he's just being Barney, but he's not heartless and unfeeling. He looks like he doesn't, but deep down, I know he remembers every single memory you two share. You and Barney have the kind of chemistry that just doesn't go away. He had a crush on you for a year, and you don't forget that kind of crushes easily. Don't give up, Robin, don't give up on yourself, and don't give up on hope."

"I just can't help wondering, why we were so bad as a couple, and I'm afraid, that it won't work out even if we have a second chance." Robin choked back her tears, stumbling through her words, wiping her tears with her palms as they streaked down relentlessly.

"Robin, it won't always be this way. It's hard now, but relationships are like that. They're beautiful, but there's something you'll have to go through before you get to the happily ever afters. When it's time, both you and Barney will just know, because you're made for each other. Somewhere inside Barney, he misses you, and it's just a matter of time."

Her eyes were swollen, she'd tried using silly home remedies that she found on the Internet, applied extra foundation, but nothing worked. The swelling was obvious, a tell-tale sign that she'd been crying, but she'd promised Ted and Lily that she'd go to the bar. She'd be strong, she promised. They made her cancel her date with Josh, "he's a good guy, and he doesn't deserve to be led on when you're not ready for another relationship."

Robin took one final look at herself in the mirror, her eyes were slightly puffy, but she'd managed to conceal them slightly, and hoped that the dim lighting in the bar would help her out.

Lily and Marshall were in their usual booth, Marshall had his hands on Lily's growing belly, a sweet expression on his face that could only be brought out by the joy of incoming new life. "Oh, dear me, Robin, what happened to you?"

"Oh, I'm fine," she gave a vague answer, trying to sweep over the topic as quickly as she could, "it's just allergies, dust mites and the like. Where's Ted?"

As if on cue, Ted suddenly appeared from nowhere, quickly slipping into Robin's side of the booth, forcing her to scoot across the seat to avoid being crushed. "Okay, guys, listen, Barney's quite upset, so don't say anything that's going to trigger him."

Barney's suit was immaculate as usual, but there was a huge difference as compared to the Barney they were used to seeing. Barney wore the suit, but today, it looked like the suit was wearing him, and he was washed out.

"Nora wasn't even around this morning."

**(A/N: A cliffhanger, of course. A lazy person's excuse for not continuing the story further. I hope you guys liked it, and sorry for the lengthy dialogue!) **


	4. Certain Words In Uncertain Times

**(A/N: It's been a while since I last updated, but my finals are finally over and I guess I'll be working on this more often. Enjoy, and do drop me a review!)**

"Nora, it's me. Where are you? Why aren't you picking up my calls? I need to meet you now. Please, just call me back or text me." Barney was exhausted, he'd been dialling her number all day but she hadn't picked up, hadn't returned a single message, it was exasperating to say the least. He dropped his phone on the table, his face twisted in a mixture of anger and sadness. "She's still not returning my calls, she's not replying my texts, she's freezing me out, I don't get it! What did I do wrong? I didn't lie to her, Lily, I didn't cheat. I don't get it." He ran his fingers through his hair, messing up his artfully mussed hair into scraggly locks.

Lily and Marshall exchanged a look of concern, but there wasn't much any of them could do. Barney walked to the bar, and they could only watch him down tequila shots one after another relentlessly. They tried to stop him, knowing that Barney hated tequila, he thought it was a terrible way to get drunk, but he refused, saying that it was the only way he could be released. "He's going to kill himself at this rate. Is Nora really worth it?" Marshall sighed, his broad shoulders slumped in concern for his friend.

"I've never Barney like this. But there's only one person who can fix this right now, and it's not us, we can only offer him support, and help him get through this the best we can."

Three days came and went, Barney stayed at MacLaren's - with the same navy blue suit on, he'd ditched the ducky tie for a plain one, but Marshall didn't complain, he couldn't, not with his friend this way. He was absolutely dishevelled, and was in need of a good bath and sleep, but he refused to leave. "I've told her, she has to come here and tell me, why."

Ted and Robin switched shifts with Marshall and Lily to watch Barney, knowing that despite them being regulars, it wasn't safe to leave Barney alone. Especially when he was just drunk, sleeping and moping his life away. He didn't go to work, but strangely enough, none of them heard any words of complaints from Barney's superiors, if he had any to begin with.

Lily and Ted pleaded with him to have a proper night's sleep at Ted's apartment, take a shower or something, "Nora won't be pleased to see you like this either way", but nothing worked. He just lay there, sprawled on the table, downing drink after drink. Tequila, scotch, whisky, vodka, beer. Whatever they served, he took. Marshall and Ted took turns picking up Barney's tab, despite the shocked expressions they couldn't help whenever Wendy passed them the bill.

"Another scotch, Wendy!" Barney suddenly shot up, his eyes were bloodshot and his lips were cracked, they'd swopped some of his drinks for plain water to avoid alcohol poisoning, which had been working, but the cracked lips were inevitable.

Wendy placed a glass of scotch in front of him, shaking her head disapprovingly. Ted tried to snatch it away, but Barney swatted his hand away, drinking it all in one gulp.

"Guys, I know this is a bad time, but well, it's my only chance. I've accepted the offer to do overseas correspondence in Milan for a while, probably three to six weeks, depending. I don't really know the exact time frame, just that I'm leaving the day after next." Robin looked slightly sheepish as she broke the news, taking in the surprised expressions from her friends, save for a hopelessly drunk Barney.

"Oh, Robin, I'm happy for you, that you have such a great opportunity, but this isn't because of Barney, is it? I know you love New York." Lily probed further, sensing that it wasn't as simple as Robin said it to be.

"I don't know, I really don't. But there was an opening, and I've always wanted to do overseas correspondence with the company, and it's Milan, It's not a chance that comes every day. Maybe Barney played a part in my decision, but It's not just Barney. He's just one person, and I can't put my entire life on hold for one person, even if it's... Anyway, like you guys have said, I need to be happy for myself, and I genuinely think that at this point in time, this is the right thing for me. I hope for your support, and..." Robin trailed off, her eyes remaining fixed on the back of Barney's head, the blonde streaks she remembered running her hands through. She didn't want to leave, but she couldn't stay and watch this, knowing that Barney was so hung up over a woman for leaving him, when she didn't have this moping period.

It was too much to take, and she only knew one way around things. Escape.

Ted smiled, and took Robin's hands in his. "If this is what you really want," he paused, looking at both Lily and Marshall quickly, "then you have our full support. Go and kick some Italian asses!"

The table started vibrating, and Barney bolted upright, grabbing his phone as he realised he'd received a text message.

"Nora's asked me to meet her at her place tonight! Gotta go guys, I'll catch up tomorrow!" He bundled out of the bar, slightly unsteady on his feet, but his eyes were wide, it was like the phone call from Nora had given him all the energy that had been drained from him over the last couple of days. And it was about time.

Barney took a quick shower, and glanced in the mirror, nearly getting a shock as he did so. Was it really him in the mirror? That pathetic, scruffy, mangled person? He looked like he'd aged years in the past few days, and he quickly scrubbed his face clean and applied his mencare products, the same ones that Ted had teased him for having, calling them unnecessary and frivolous.

He put on a charcoal grey suit, his hair was gelled slightly, he looked fresh. Not his best, but after all the alcohol and bad sleep he'd been getting, it was pretty darn close and the best he could get. He sniffed the small bouquet of flowers in his hand one more time, and knocked on Nora's door confidently. Three short taps.

Nora didn't look pleased to see him, but she invited him onto her couch, and passed him a beer, which he declined, suddenly well aware of the amount of alcohol he'd had in the past few days, enough to damage his liver permanently if he wasn't careful.

"Nora, what happened? Why did you... Why did you leave that morning?" Barney couldn't hold his question back any further, and decided to get straight to the point. If it was going to be painful, he'd might as well cut short the suffering.

"I can't sleep with a man who calls out another man's name when we're making love, much less call that man my boyfriend, Barney. I'm not one of those stupid bimbos you call when you want to, what do you call it, get laid? I'm not a one-night stand, I'm in this for the long run, but it seems that I was wrong, you're still the same. But at least the old Barney never uttered a man's name in his sleep."

"I don't get you, Nora. What did I say? It's just sleep talk, isn't it, why are you so upset?"

"No, Barney, it's not just sleep talk. People say the truth when they're sleeping. It's the only time people really let their guard down and be who they really are."

"I've been truthful, Nora. I've been nothing but honest with you ever since you agreed to be with me. Tell me, what did I say, I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for it, whatever I said."

Nora obliged, but Barney didn't have an explanation. He couldn't acquit himself this time. He had no excuses, he just realised, that perhaps, no matter what he tried to tell himself, he was still the same Barney.

He apologised, and they shared a final, platonic hug. "You've been decent, Barney. But I can't do this."

He couldn't blame her. He could only blame himself. He knew what he did wrong. But how do you fix a problem if it's been there long enough to find itself deeply rooted in what you believe is the truth? He'd pushed those thoughts so far behind in his head, he'd forgotten. Or so he thought.

_And I wish that I could change, be the better person from the start, not make those stupid mistakes. I've disappointed, but the woman I love, she's gone. And she's never coming back, because she thinks of me as someone who is simply in it for the physical love. I've blown it, haven't I._

**(A/N: I wasn't going to have the AN here too, but just tell me, what do you think Barney said? I've got a rough idea, but I'll take your suggestions into consideration! Thank you!) **


	5. Say Something Now

**(A/N: Thank you for the responses, story alerts, favouriting of this story, I have an idea of how this entire story will end, but there's still a bit more to go. Enjoy, and review as always!)**

He mopes around, he's not in the mood to pick up chicks and bang them. It's 2am, how often does he say this? Barney Stinson's alone in bed at 2am. It doesn't feel right, but he can't have it any other way, not tonight. He misses hearing Nora's beautiful accent, the way she accentuates her words so crisply, the way she looks into his eyes before leaning in for a brief kiss. The way she kisses, light, almost like she's afraid. He closes his eyes, and all he sees right now is her disappointed face. He believes that she really fell in love with him, not the Barney Stinson of old who cheated and came up with elaborate plans to get laid. She fell in love with the man who confessed, who changed for her, and he doesn't know who he is anymore.

It feels like he was only that way because of Nora, and he's read theories about how people unconsciously push thoughts away because they don't want to believe that they are true. Perhaps, just perhaps, he didn't really change, and the old Barney Stinson is still somewhere in there. He can't quite believe that Nora's never coming back, he loved her. He hadn't wanted to settle down to be with a someone since... Since Robin.

"Ted, are you on a date or getting laid or anything? I need to talk to you." Barney tried to lighten his tone, sound more Barney-like, whatever Barney-like was these days.

"Sure, give me half an hour, I'll be there."

"Barney, what's up? You sounded okay on the phone, all fine with Nora?" Ted quickly fired off a short text, but he couldn't help smiling just a little as he typed. He had to cut short his date to meet Barney, but he had a feeling that Charlotte was a keeper, she had a sweet disposition and seemed easy-going enough. Of course, first impressions could be misleading, but he had a feeling. A good feeling.

"Nora broke up with me." Barney handed his friend a beer and sipped his own scotch, knowing that he had to keep sober if he wanted to sort things out properly.

Ted opened his mouth, but shut it again, motioning for Barney to continue as he slouched back on Barney's couch, listening intently. He had expected Nora and Barney to get back together, he'd seen how his friend had become more mature, more of a boyfriend than he'd ever expected Barney to be. In a way, he liked how human Barney had become, he didn't think it was bad to have feelings, and he cared about Nora in a way that was different from the Barney he had always known. Barney changed for her, he wanted to protect her, it almost reminded Ted of how he used to be protective of Zoey, of Stella, of all those girls he had dated.

"It's not her fault, Ted, it's mine. I thought I'd changed, I thought that Nora was the right one to fall in love with, I thought, you know, Barney Stinson found his soulmate. But I guess I was just pretending, lying to myself." Barney buried his head in his hands, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

Ted remained silent, knowing more was to come, and partly taken aback by Barney's confession. In all the years he'd known Barney Stinson, he never knew Barney as a touchy-feely person who believed in soulmates.

"I said Roland in my sleep, when I was sleeping with Nora, Ted. Roland." Barney downed the rest of his scotch as he sighed, looking at his ceiling glumly.

Ted flinched slightly as he recalled how Chloe had called Robin 'Roland', and how Barney had tried to coin it to get them off the 'Swarley' nickname.

"Do you still have feelings for Robin? That's the thing, Barney, you've got to figure out how you really feel about the people around you before you go into a relationship, and I don't know about you, but I get the feeling that when you and Robin broke up, you guys both left with lingering feelings. I can't help you, Barney, you've got to figure it out for yourself. I know you will." Ted patted his friend on the shoulder, and held up the beer bottle briefly as if to say, "Thanks for the beer," and let himself out of Barney's apartment, leaving Barney slumped on the couch.

_I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore. I hate it when I see Robin having fun with some other man, and when the guy looks like he's really making her happy. I want to see her happy, I want to see her with someone worthy of all the awesome that she is, I want to be the person that makes her happy. But I'm just Barney Stinson, I'm the guy with all the plays that most can't even fathom, and she knows all my tricks. She's better than me, and she knows it as well as I do. _

Lily smiled as she read her email, Robin had sent some pictures of herself in Milan, eating, taking pictures with tourists, and she couldn't help but laugh as she saw one of Robin hugging a gorgeous Italian and both of them wearing matching shoes. _Are __you __really __happier __there,__Robin?_

Marshall stood behind her, his arms wrapped protectively around his wife, and rested his head lightly on hers. "Robin looks like she's really enjoying herself in Milan, baby, stop worrying so much." He stroked her swollen belly lovingly, and he had this silly look in his eyes that he got every time they visited the gynaecologist.

"Perhaps. I still think that Robin's in love with Barney, but she's afraid to admit it. You know Robin, if she's afraid, she'll run away." Lily shrugged her shoulders as she shut the laptop screen, she knew that Robin wouldn't tell anyone even if she was hurting, and she just knew that Robin had jumped at the Milan opportunity because Barney seemed so happy with Nora, and then he was pining for her so badly.

Ted looked at the clock as he got home, and his apartment just had that droopy feel about it now that Robin wasn't around. He was used to having the television turned up too loud, a half-empty glass of scotch on the table next to the bottle, and Robin sprawled on the couch, sometimes watching the Tonight Show, sometimes asleep. _She __deserves __to __know __about __this._He typed a long text on his phone, and read through it once more, but he wasn't so certain. _I __told __her __to __move __on, __but __if __I __do __this, __she __won__'__t, __and __she __could __do __so __much __better. _He saved it in his drafts, and tossed his phone on the couch as he headed to his room, still conflicted by his options.

Ted woke up the next morning, his phone was buzzing. "Barney told me about the Nora issue, Ted. Should we tell Robin? Is it too soon? Is Barney ready? Will he ever be?" Lily had left a message for him, and it just added to his confusion. At least now he had Lily to discuss it with, but neither of them really knew what was best for two of their best friends. On paper, their relationship would be a disaster, it was too hit-and-run to be consistent, and they weren't the kind of people that would be lovey-dovey and mushy about their feelings. They both had commitment issues that had ruined their past relationships, but it was different now. Robin seemed to really want to just be with someone that genuinely cared about her and didn't just care about the sex, even though she was probably one of the hottest women he had ever dated. Barney had changed drastically when he was with Nora, but thinking about it, Ted realised that the change didn't start there. Barney started changing because he wanted to be with Robin.

Perhaps it didn't work before, but when things don't go your away, you keep working at them until they do. Maybe that was what Robin and Barney needed. Encouragement to take that path once more, and work at it. He had his answer.


	6. Any Other Heart

**(A/N: It's been almost a month since I've updated, sorry for that, was busy with a huge exam. I hope you like this, and do review!)**

"Ted, aren't you going to pick Robin up from the airport?" Lily didn't look up from the parents' letters she was drafting, she and Ted were early, sitting at their usual booth in MacLaren's. He was reading one of his thick, dry architecture books, a beer in hand, while she had a lone glass of plain water sitting next to her hand. He paused for a moment and flicked through his planner, which was full of neat notes in black ink. A sheepish look started to form across his face, and Lily sighed. "You've forgotten that Robin's four-week posting's over, haven't you."

"Well, I wrote it down... She comes in early tomorrow, so it's fine, though she says there may be some changes in her flight details, so she'll drop me a text or something. But what about Barney?"

Barney hadn't been Barney, or at least, he hadn't been the Barney they'd come to recognise in the years they'd known him. They were used to the inappropriate, gross Barney, whose main purpose was to pick up chicks and have sex with them. They were used to Barney being unfeeling and direct. They were used to Barney brushing off problems with his 'awesomeness'. They weren't used to dull Barney. He wasn't sleeping with any female that moved, he wasn't using his annoying catchphrases with every chance he had, he was punctual for work every single day, he wasn't touching a drop of scotch. It was unhealthy, when compared to what they had grown to know of Barney, but what made it abnormal was how normal it was. He was calmer, more assured, more sane, he paid more attention to what they said. But it wasn't Barney.

"We can't tell Robin. It's for Barney to tell her, and knowing him right now, it's going to take him forever, but it's not our puzzle to put together. They're Barney and Robin. They'll figure things out. Perhaps not in the best ways, but they'll get it right."

"Oh, Robin! How have you been, sweetie?" Lily hugged her friend tightly, noticing that Robin looked radiant, and those 4 weeks in Milan had done her a world of good - her eyebags were gone, and her dark circles had faded. They sat down in the booth, gushing over all the fashions through Robin's exploits and photographed memories, with Ted and Marshall next to them.

"Women, they'll always do this, won't they." Marshall smiled as Lily and Robin engaged in one of the weirdest debates he'd heard about feathers.

Ted glanced at Robin, half-worrying about Barney, but he nodded unconsciously and shrugged. "Yeah. They will."

He walks in the rain with a black golf umbrella he got from his workplace, handed to him by his secretary. He hadn't even noticed that it was pouring, he hadn't been noticing much at all. He'd fallen into a pattern, and it irked him. He wanted to go back to being awesome, to being ridiculous and outrageous and embarrassing and just everything that he was before, before _this_happened. He almost walks past MacLaren's again, but he looks up in time, he wasn't even aware that he was looking down.

Robin's the first one he sees, how can he not. Her dark hair falling past her shoulders, that beautiful maroon coat that brings out her skin tone perfectly, and he realises, she's not wearing make-up this time either. She's beautiful, he's always known that. It's just that he hasn't realised that there's something about Robin, something he can't quite place, that makes him feel slightly insecure. In that moment, he forgets about Nora, he forgets how he's been for the past few weeks, and orders a scotch at the bar.

"Barney, hey!" He turns around to see her smiling at him, _that__smile_, and it feels like it's been years since he last smiled back at anyone that way.

"Barney's been acting weird tonight." Ted nudges Lily under the table, using his pen to poke her in the knee, causing her to squeak. She shoots him a glare, followed by a knowing look that he can't quite read. "He's acting like he's in love with Robin again, that's what it is."

Both of them observe Robin and Barney intently, he's sitting at the head of the table, with Robin to his right, and they notice that his feet are angled towards her, he's paying attention to her every word, with the occasional chuckle.

"I'm glad you're better now." Robin clinks her scotch glass against his as she declares, with a small smile on her face. Lily can't quite read her smile, is it a relieved smile because it means he's over Nora, or is it a smile that one gives a friend because they're genuinely happy that they're feeling better? She exchanges a glance with Ted, but both of them are anticipating Barney's reaction, they hadn't touched that topic since Robin left, it'd been much too sensitive for any of them to attempt to approach.

"I'm glad I'm better too." His reply is limp, an echo, he regrets it as soon as he says it, Robin's smile fades away quickly as she finishes her glass of scotch. He doesn't know why, he doesn't know why he didn't try to sound more positive that he had broken up with Nora, he doesn't know why she looks preoccupied.

The evening grows darker, and eventually they go off, one by one. Marshall and Lily, then Robin because she's jet-lagged, and soon it's just him and Ted.

"I miss her, Ted." Barney mumbles, it's almost an afterthought, and it stops Ted in mid-drink. He doesn't know if Barney is referring to Nora or Robin, so he just keeps quiet, knowing Barney's had a lot to drink.

"I mean, I said her name in my sleep. When I was having sex. I've never done that, Ted, I'm normally way too awesome for that. I think I'm still in love with Robin, Ted. But she doesn't care. She's got her life, she was the one that told me to pursue Nora, she helped me ask Nora out for a date. She doesn't care, does she?"

Barney finishes the rest of the scotch in his glass, and raises it to signal for more, but Ted shakes his head at the bartender, knowing his friend has had far too much to drink.

"I ruined her date with Josh. I told her she was better than him, that she needs someone better, that she needs legendary. I want to be with Robin, Ted. But I'm not good enough for her, I'm just this stupid guy that sleeps with women and dates the co-worker of the woman he loves, the woman he's never stopped loving when they broke up. I can't be anyone's boyfriend, Ted, I'm just going to hurt everyone that I love."

"You're not, Barney." Ted tries to go on, but he's still struggling with the knowledge that Barney has been so hung up over Nora when now he's claiming that he's been in love with Robin this whole time. "Someday, you'll be good enough for the person you love. But you've got to show it to her, Barney, you've got to tell her that you're trying to be a better person, for her."

Barney sits on his couch, switching on the television. The lights get progressively brighter, just the way he's programmed it so that the brightness doesn't overwhelm him when he turns it on, especially in the dark. He doesn't bother turning on the lamps, he sits in the darkness, with a glass of plain water because he wants to be sober at that moment. He looks at the shows he's recorded, every single one of them is there only because Robin's the anchor and he never deleted those. They're his representation of his feelings for her.

He picks up his phone, he knows what he has to do.

She doesn't answer it, of course, it's 2 in the morning and she doesn't work this late anymore. In a way, he's glad she doesn't answer. It makes it just that little bit easier.

"Robin, hey. It's me, Barney. I know this seems sudden, I've just broke up with Nora, and we've been such a terrible pair in the past. But I miss you. I don't know why, but I get the feeling that whatever happened between us two years ago, it wasn't meant to just end like that. Just between you and me, I think you're the most awesome person in the world. Even more than the person in the mirror. I know I'm not good enough yet, I don't deserve to be given a chance, not right now. But I'm working towards that. I haven't been a good boyfriend in the past, not to you. What I was with Nora, that wasn't the Barney-being-a-boyfriend, it was me being stupid and not realising that the most awesome person in the world was pushing me towards someone else because she thought I'd be happier that way. Anyway, all I really want to say is that I hope you give me a chance to be good enough for you."

He hangs up, a small smile on his face, and he glances at the television set. Her face is serious, but there's this tenderness that he notices. He sits there, watching for another hour or so, the volume turned down low, but her voice is all that matters, not the words she's saying.

**(A/N: The next chapter is very likely to be the last, I get the feeling that I'm writing them out of character and it's frustrating for me, so yeah. I hope you guys were satisfied with it, drop me a note or two? Thanks.)**


	7. By Now

**(A/N: As promised, the last chapter of this story. Thank you, everyone, who have added this to your favourite stories/put it on alert/reviewed, you've made my day in one way or another. I hope you enjoy this ending.)**

Ted blunders out of his room, eyes bleary, expecting Robin to be out of the apartment already. After all, it's half past ten. But he sees her hunched silhouette, sitting miserably on the couch, hugging a throw pillow in a way that has become all too familiar in recent months. He approaches her cautiously, wondering if Barney had taken his advice, secretly hoping he didn't, because he believes that Robin deserves the chance to let go of whatever Barney brought into her life. Barney's one of his best friends, no doubt about that, but so is Robin, and he knows that she's in a vulnerable place, and even if Barney wanted to express his feelings, she needed a break.

Ted steals a look over her shoulder, and sighs in resignation as he sees that she's staring at her phone blankly. She hasn't even bothered to had breakfast, drink coffee, or even freshen up for that matter.

"Hey, Robin..." He starts awkwardly, and mentally slaps himself, knowing that he should be doing better at these things by now.

She turns around, and her face is frightfully pale, but there's no tear stains, unlike what he expected.

"He told me to give him time to be good enough for me." Her voice is lower than usual, and she says it matter-of-factly, her eyes trained on her phone.

"Do you love him, Robin?" "You know it, Ted, do we really have to go through this again?"

"No, I'm serious. Because if you love him, I'm telling you, this is a man who has gone through the ups and downs, and he genuinely thinks you're the greatest woman in the world. If you love him, give him the time he needs. You and Barney... Lily, Marshall and I all know, that you're both perfect for each other."

She looks at him wordlessly, their brown eyes meeting briefly, and she nods.

He chooses a navy blue suit from his wardrobe, leaving the vest on the hanger, and puts on the blazer over his shirt and tie. There's something missing from the look, and he smiles wryly as he glances at the hanger once more. She told him once before, he would look better with a vest over his tie. It was the ducky tie that she was talking about, but her advice worked once more.

He called her earlier in the afternoon, asking her out on a date. A one-on-one date, in a restaurant, with red wine and her favourite desserts. He looked at his own reflection in the mirror, remembering what he once told her on the first night they slept together.

Told her that she was the most awesome person he'd ever met. Second most awesome, actually. "_It__'__s__this__guy__I__know__who__lives__in__something__called__the__mirror.__" _He straightens his tie, adjusts the Windsor knot one last time, and murmurs to himself, "But there's this girl who I used to watch every morning at 4am on television, whose show I TiVo, who is more awesome than the guy who lives in the mirror."

She accepts his date quickly, knowing that the message he left for her was merely a prelude. So much of her already knows that no matter what he does, no matter what he thinks, he's already the better person that he wants to be. She's been with Barney, she's seen him for he wants to be, who he doesn't dare to be, and that person's beautiful. Delightful, to say. She knows that she'll never find someone that's perfect for her like Barney is, like what their friends think. She's been with, strictly saying, better boyfriends. She's been with Ted, who she knows is one of the sweetest men she'll ever meet. But in Barney, she doesn't see sweet.

Barney's wholesome in the ways that she didn't use to think was possible. He's inappropriate, he's gross, he has the stupidest catch phrases, he has the shortest attention spans, he seems so callous, and he has the worst way of dealing with feelings sometimes. But she's seen a different side of Barney sporadically, and that side of him is perfect. He's still got his inadequacies, but he makes up for them with his reassuring hugs, the way he makes others feel better even if the words he says are stupid, and he just understands. He's inconsistent in the sense that he runs away, but she identifies with that. She knows that there's a 17% possibility of them one day running away to an island or somewhere else obscure, and just having wild sex all day just to escape from all the burning questions about commitment. But there's an 83%, of the Barney she knows that is hidden under his facade, standing up to all the questions thrown at them and swatting them away with his awesomeness.

He's already there when she arrives, and she notices that he's already ordered for both of them. He smiles, but it's not the confident, cocky smile that she's used to him giving her, but rather, it's a sweet smile, like the ones she saw from him on rare occasions.

"Thanks for coming...you look beautiful tonight, Robin." He starts off awkwardly, and he mentally slaps himself, slightly lost for words. He's never really done these things before.

They make small talk, about her job, and things about their friends, Robin artfully dodging the sensitive issue about the message he left her. Their meal's simple but pleasant, and they end off with an excellent panna cotta.

He suggests that they take a walk outside, even though it's late January and still cold out. She reluctantly accepts, even though she hasn't taken a scarf with her, because he looks so bright, so certain, and so un-Barney like, he's been just slightly different all night. She knows why, but she doesn't dare to approach the subject because she doesn't want the entire night to collapse like that. Right now, it's perfect, it's comfortable, in their closer-than-friends way.

They stop at a junction near MacLaren's, and he takes her gloved hands in his abruptly. She senses that he's nervous, and she can feel her own heartbeat quickening, but she's afraid to let herself hope.

"Robin, I know I said in the message that I needed time to be better, to be good enough, to, love you. But the fact is that it's been years since I fell in love with you, and it's not something that I've been able to turn off. I know we've failed before, but when I close my eyes and imagine myself in the future, I don't see myself in my apartment alone, drinking scotch and wearing a suit. I imagine myself holding your hand, our wrinkled feet padding along a gravel pathway leading to a white picket fence. I love you, Robin. I've never been more certain about my feelings for anyone but you. And I just hope that you feel the same way."

He notices that she's been shivering slightly, her hands warmed by his, but her shoulders are quivering, because the wind's strong out, and she hasn't got a scarf. She's used to cold weather back in Vancouver, but she's lost a little of that Canadian tolerance over the years. He takes off his own black scarf and wraps it around her neck, but never taking his eyes off hers, just slowly winding it around her neck and fixing it in place.

"I've missed you, Barney. I've missed you since we broke up, I wanted to tell you how I felt, but we saw Nora, and I just thought that, we failed in the past, and we'd fail again. I like the idea of the white picket fence, next to Lily and Marshall's, across from Ted's, playing cards on one of our front porches. I've been an idiot, haven't I? I should have told you."

"You're not an idiot, but I'd like to be the one you call an idiot."

**(A/N: Thanks, everyone who has been reading this and reviewing, it's been a great time writing this, and I hope you liked it.)**


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